lazy? I always feel terrible when I come home from work and crash on the couch by the tv until bedtime, usually even thru dinner. While I'm working, I always think about what a waste the previous night was by doing this, and then when I get home, it's the same old thing again. I realized this morning, that it isn't my fault at all. I'm just worn out, tired. At my job, usually one test fills the entire 8+ hours, so, it really flows together quite nicely. It's easy to come home and not realize that 9 hours were just spent away, on my feet the entire time.

It doesn't help that I've had PMS for about a month now. I am so sick and tired of it! I'm worn out and tired and crabby and achy, not to mention feeling fatter than fat, and it's controlling me. Once I get my insurance card, I am going right back to that doctor and saying "NO MESSING AROUND with charts; I want to be fixed this minute so I don't have to go through this every other month or three." I know this plays a huge part in my "crashing on the couch" as well.

I guess where I'm going is I know that I'm not lazy because I just woke up at 7:40, and do you know what I did? One of the things I wanted to do in the evening. If I can do this with pop-up hair and puffed-up eyes, vision blury even with the aid of glasses, then the direction points to this: work is the culprit behind my laziness, not me, and I shouldn't feel bad. I vacuumed the bathroom floor, took out all of the garbages, rearanged the linen shelves, and now, as I type, the toilet bowl cleaner is "sitting" for 5-10 minutes, right before I "swab with brush."

And then it will only be 8:20 or so; I can hop into the shower (10 minutes, 8:35, say), play some of my new Devil's Rejects soundtrack, eat breakfast, and feel somewhat accomplished before I head out the door and thank the lord it's Friday.  ¶ 8:13 AM