naming the entry Today was kind of an icky-feeling day. I felt extra-hungry all day, but only found a couple things I could gag down. I think it's really weird how I can't eat a lot of stuff. I did find out that I can eat Spaghetti O's rather well. Last night I ate a whole can for dinner, along with some steamed spinach. I came home from work today, starving, and cooked myself some cheese tortellini as well. I have about 1/2 eaten. I think I'm starting to slow down.

My sandwich at work was good, but I really don't like the bread. It's from Panera. What I really want is some really fluffy white bread, from the store. As white as white can get. I know white isn't the most healthy, but right now it seems sooo good! A lady from work made some oatmeal-craison-chocolate chip-nut cookies. I had three at work and grabbed two for home. I plan on giving John one for being such a cutie.

Last night, he was pretty down and crabby about work and our house situation. We're looking to sell soon. With the rates as they are, we really want to buy some property up near my folks. There's 120 acres 2 miles from Lake Superior...we're going to go look at some properties over Labor Day weekend. The plan is to pay on that while we live in an apartment or rent a house or something in this area til we figure out if John's going to go to school or not. So it might be two years or so before we actually LIVE on the property, but that will give us time to plan AND a chance to lock into the good interest rates (that won't be here for much longer).

So, yes, I mentioned briefly that all went wonderful with my blood test. After I got the results, I asked if I could make an appointment to meet with my doctor. Of course! Only the bad news is that she is booked until September 28th. There is no way I'm going to wait a month! So...the lady looked at some other doctors' schedules, and found that a man-doctor had August 30th, at 10:30 open. So I made my first motherly choice and went with him. Even though he's a guy, I'm sure it will be fine. :S No matter who I have as a doctor, it's all going to be scary and new!!!

The things I am most excited to know are: due date (my woman's intuition tells me that I am about 7 weeks, but I have no way of really knowing!), condition of baby (is he/she healthy and where he/she should be), how the heck this happened (I know by way of sex, but I've been doing that unprotectedly with John for over 5 years!!...a higher power, maybe?)

Ohhhh interjection. My mom always told me that her doctor said I was her miracle baby. My mom really wanted to have more kids after I was born, but she just couldn't, and she'd always cry and ask her doctor, "why? I was able to have Melissa!" and then he told her: "Maybe Melissa was your little miracle," and that was an answer good enough for my mom!

This baby will definately be my miracle. I don't care if it's the only one I have or not, I already love it and want the best for it! I am so excited to see the doctor! They told me the appointment will be about 1 1/2 - 2 hours long, because the first half is kind of an overview of what being pregnant means hospital-wise. I think that will be very interesting! luckily, John can even come to my appointment with me.

I am still in awe and can't believe it. It just goes to show that sometimes trying and wanting too hard is just out of our control; sometimes we have to be patient and wait and it will come when we least expect it. Just like this! My hubby's bandmember's wife is due in like, one week, and i can remember screaming and crying as I took down the Christmas tree, when she had first found out. THEN, in February, I found out that another wife was pregnant, and I just never ever thought it would happen to me.

My mom always told me: "it's not a race...when the time is right!" and that would mostly make me even more upset. But once again, my mother is right, she always is.

She is so excited about all of this. She has always wanted to be a grandma. My mom is only 45, too!! Hehehehe... :-) the other thing I'm happy about is that I will be 24 when he/she is born, so when he/she is 20, I'll only be 44. John will be 46, when the little baby is 20. We'll still be all young and roarin' to go!

I told my boss about my appointment, and i was very ready to tell her what for, but she didn't ask, so I didn't say anything more. The funny this is that a bunch of people had bets on who would be pregnant next, and it was between me and another girl, but everyone had me in the lead.

We're going to tell John's family this weekend. His sisters and our nieces and nephews will be visiting, along with his parents, so we're going to have a big picnic at a park. He has promised to tell them, because I'll be way to nervous and embarassed! I think everyone will be happy. I think the oldest "cousin(!)" is in 5th grade, and the youngest is 2. John's sister always asks us when we're going to have babies, so I think she'll be so happy!

I just have to make sure I do everything I can to be as healthy as possible so everyone wins! (of course my mom lived on Buster Bars for many weeks, and I'll allow myself to do that! but I just need to have everything in the baby's best interest!) I also need to get over to the bookstore and buy a baby journal!!!  ¶ 4:11 PM