morning sickness information for all ye readers when i was pregnant, this layout triggered morning sickness.

other wierd trigger-ers?

certain songs and kittens.  ¶ 4:17 PM

  need help I'm 23 years old, almost 24. Some would consider that old, some would consider it young. I, myself, would rather be younger again, but if I had to admit it, 23 or 24 is still pretty young. Especially considering that this is the 2nd house we have owned. So, my young mind is confused about some house-related things. Feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Say we bought this house, and in the purchase agreement, it was noted that the house would have a new roof. Say, two months after moving into the house, the roof leaks...badly and leaves big wet rings on the newly sheetrocked/painted ceilings.

The man who sold us the house is the one who did the roofing. We called the man and told him about the leaks. He blamed it on us. It didn't leak when he owned it! We must have went up onto the roof and damaged it.

Well, what if we hadn't gone up on the roof? What if we are just a couple of young-minded "adult"-trusting people that learn of the world's cruel ways more and more each day?

So, the man who sold us the house-slash-did the roofing unwillingly brings his little friends over to fix the roof. The first time they fix it, it still leaks. We call and tell him that not only is it STILL leaking in one place, but it is now leaking in another room. The man is confused and angry and doesn't understand why his precious roof is leaking.

So, again, he comes over and fixes the roof

AND DEMANDS $625.00!!!!

My question is: do we have to pay for this? Isn't it his fault, and shouldn't he have the curtiosy (sp) to fix his own mistakes, at his own expence? $195,000 was way too much to pay for this piece of shit house.

Selling the farmhouse was a big mistake, and I want to move away from this crappy ass house now.  ¶ 4:54 PM

  cd with music notes I think I'm still into blogging, but I've just been really tired lately...my thoughts have been nothing than "I'm tired! I wonder how my baby is doing? I don't want to go to work. I'm tired!! Sometimes I feel sick. I feel sick now. I'm really tired and I'm going to sleep now."

So....I haven't had much time to think about a lot of things in depth...or think about things to write about. It's 4:40, and, already I could jump into bed and sleep.

My parents came for a visit over the weekend. It was a lot of fun! They brought some presents for the baby. My mom asked permission to buy these things, and of course I told her it was okay. we have nothing baby-related, just the crib...So my dear sweet mom and dad bought adorable Baby Sesame Street things from Kmart...including: a high chair, play yard, bouncer, swing, walker, and stroller. Everything is so adorable. The box for the high chair was damaged, so my Dad assembled it so he could see that everything was there and in okay condition. Thankfully, it all was, and it is so adorable. Even if it hadn't been a damaged box, I would have loved for him to assemble it anyway!

Saturday was a day I'll never forget: my mom took me shopping for maternity clothes! I almost need them (most of my pants are too tight now), but since I never shopped for them before, my mom was happy to advise me when I modeled them in the changing room. I got two pairs of jeans, a sweater, a peasant top, a blue long-sleeved T-shirt, and a winter jacket. Oooh yeah, and I also got some maternity/nursing bras! Which, i must admit, I have to wear already! :S

I have to write them the biggest thank-you ever. I am so sad that they live far far away. I hope we can live closer to them very soon.

Work today was okay...I mean, something bad happened, and I'm almost ready to go nuts about those chemicals...but there is one machine I refuse to use, and for it, they use a syringe for water. Now, the sharp needle does not go into the chemicals, but it's too close for comfort, in my opinion. Well, it sits in a little beaker while not in use, the needle pointing down so no one accidentally bumps it (Duh). Well, guess what wasn't pointing downward, and guess who bumped it and broke skin? ME. It was a tiny little nick and didn't hit a vein, but I bled a little bit. I washed it 4 times with soap and prayed that everything would be okay. I'm sure it is, since it doesn't touch the chemicals, but I am a mother now, and I will always worry about my baby before me.

My sister-in-law mailed me the book "What to Expect When You're Expecting", and, in that book, it talks about dangerous chemicals. It says: as long as the mother isn't seriously affected by the chemicals, the fetus is usually unharmed. So that made me feel SO MUCH BETTER! I am working to pay for things and get medical insurance, but yet I stand there breathing and monkeying with chemicals, and I can't help but worry and get scared. I've come across three new "cancer suspects" in the lab, and it's just like...it's an interesting job that makes me feel important and smart, but in all reality, I do not want to be messing around with this stuff. I pray that my little baby is safe.

I am getting SOOO excited! I get to go back to the doctor on the 25th, and then I will be 16 weeks! I can't believe how fast the time really is going. It is all such a miracle, and it's all...no, everything...that's been on my mind.  ¶ 4:52 PM

  It's the weekend! It's almost noon on Saturday, and I really haven't done a whole lot today - yet. I've been dying for some homemade bread, warm and fresh, smothered with butter, along with a hearty homemade soup. I have a favorite crock pot soup called "Lentils with Rice and Ham," and I leave out the ham, of course, but otherwise it's out of this world! I like to use yellow lentils because, with the shredded carrots and white rice, it looks very interesting. I made it with regular brown lentils once, and it just wasn't the same. I also want banana bread. I was just thinking, and I believe the recipe I used last time called for only two bananas. I'm going to scout out the fridge to see if there are any left. I know there's one for sure...I have also been thinking a lot about no-bake cookies. My mom made them around Christmas time, but I've just been thinking about those little lumps of peanut butter, chocolate, and coconut, sitting cold in the fridge, and I really want one! I also want some regular cookies, like chocolate chip or something............

you see....I've been wanting all these things for MONTHS, but I've been too tired to do any of it (not to mention the smell of my house made me ill, and I, while being here, I really couldn't do much other than lay on the couch and moan and then go to bed and spin around with my head beating and pressing into the pillow...but now I am starting to feel better. I think I'm going to be one of those lucky ones that start feeling better in the 2nd trimester....2nd trimester. Can you believe it????? Pretty soon! I'm about 13 weeks now! :-) Only two more to go. :) Heheeee...but yes, as I was saying...I've been feeling a smidge better. The last day I threw up was Monday, and I *almost* threw up on Tuesday, but there wasn't anything in my stomach TO throw up...but after that, I haven't been ill...just extremely tired (like 7:30-8:00 tired), although there are times when I will sniff something in the air (particularily here at the house or if they are doing something gross at work, like diary flavor or something, I will just be like EEEWWW and try not to breathe...the other thing I can not stand is my hair. And not in the "I need a haircut" sort of way. It's more like, "shave it all off, the feeling of hair is disgusting!" Even just seeing it on the floor or something. I try to vacuum it, but I'll just be getting out of the shower or something and see some of my hair on the ground and oh, it's just gross. I've been telling my mom these things, and she just laughs...but I guess she was talking to one of her pregnant co-workers, and telling her about things that make me ill, and she mentioned the hair thing. The co-worker said, "Oh my! That's not weird; I was the same way! When I'd get out of the shower, I'd have to sit down in another room to comb my hair, otherwise I would get sick."

John has a gazillion shows today, well, three, but they are for town things, like a bank customer appreciation day, or something, then at a historical site, and then finally, for a town celebration.......I decided to stay home because I really want to cook up a storm. Also, our little "friends" are starting to come out....(LADYBUGS!)

They are flying around outside like little bandits, and I'd rather just stay inside the house. Figures, that beautiful fall weather, and they ruin it. It's my favorite time of year. I'll just wait til the end of the month when it's freezing but still orange and yellow and brown and snow-less. OOOH my parents are coming next weekend! They bought the baby a bunch of stuff...Sesame Street things! They're going to be bringing it to us. I'm so excited!

I'd better get baking, I suppose. :-) First I have to find my crock pot. We despise this house, so we really haven't even unpacked a whole lot. At least it's pretty good at keeping LADYBUGS out!  ¶ 12:03 PM

  Kit-Kit Knits I'm not sure if I mentioned it yet or not, but John and I are taking a knitting class (Yes, BOTH John and I!) It's 4 Thursdays of knitting fun. We've been to two classes so far. We're learning to make a hat - in just a little bit, we have to do some serious knitting because by Thursday, we need to have 6 1/2 inches of knitting done. Right now I'm at about 1 or 2, and John's at nothing! So...we have to get going!!

It's going to be hard to knit because #1., I'm already very tired, and mostly #2. My doctor's appointment was today, and I am still so excited and happy!

When I first got there they, of course, took down my weight and blood pressure. I didn't gain or loose any weight; I stayed the same. Then they called John and I back to the little room, where we waited for the doctor. I got to keep my clothes on this time (Yay!), so I just jumped up on the little table, and he did some measuring and then went at it with the little heart-doppler thing. Sadly, he couldn't find a heartbeat! :( I was really concerned, but then he brought in the ultrasound machine (Yay!) and the minute, I mean the minute he put the little deal on my tummy, there was Baby!

And my oh my was the baby different from the last visit! He didn't have to zoom in at all, and we had little scrawny legs and arms and fingers and the proportions were just like that of a little BABY!!! The most fascinating thing of all was that the arms and legs were moving around SO FAST, up and down and Baby was spinning around in little circles. We could see the heart beating and even see tiny little ribs. There was a tiny little nose, and John even saw the baby's mouth open! I couldn't believe it! The doctor just laughed and said he probaby couldn't hear the heartbeat because the baby wasn't sitting still long enough! Hehehe....I'm still a little worried, but I am sure if there was something wrong, the doctor would have said and the baby wouldn't have been looking so happy and silly and having such a great time!!!! And to believe I can't even feel any of this!! :-)

I didn't get a picture this time, but I will never in my life forget what I got to see today...never.  ¶ 8:08 PM

  Home Not Alone! John's out at an interview tonight. His band is being featured in the magazine he works for, so they all decided to meet at the coffee shop to be interviewed by the article's author. I debated going along, but I was just too tired and not feeling all that social. Work went pretty well today. Now that I know I'm going to be in the same area for the next month, I've gone at it with the strategy: FIND a PLAN to get your stuff done quickly, but of course still accurate. Today I made a few changes and found myself ahead in the game and out of there at 4:30. Still a half an hour later than my true shift, but I don't mind. What is a half hour when you've already been there for 8 hours? :-)

I think my corner is all about how things are left at the end of the day...like tomorrow might not got as smoothly, but at least now I have a month to work it all out. By the end of the month, maybe I'll get to be a speedy little bullet.

I'm wondering if I'm starting to feel the baby move! They say you can start to feel little movements around the 3rd-4th month, and I'm right in the 3rd now. Soooo...I mean, they say it's like a tiny little butterfly or a goldfish swimming around. Just a little tickle, and I was just sitting here typing about work and all of a sudden, I felt this little goldfish feeling, only it was kind of slow and not like ZIIiiiiiip! Or anything like that, so I don't know! They say 2nd time mothers usually pick it up sooner, so it may or may not be.

I am super excited because tomorrow is my 2nd doctor's appointment! I don't even have to go into work in the morning because the appt. is at 9:30. As far as I know, they are going to listen for a heartbeat. After that, I'm not really sure what they will do. I am really REALLY hoping for another ultrasound, because a month ago, the baby was only 8 weeks, so we just had little arm buds and stuff, but now we have fingers and toes and ears and I just wish the doctor could zoom in and print me off another picture!

Other than that, not much else has been going on around here. We've been getting a lot of rain, oh, and guess what? Our roof is leaking. Did you move back to your farmhouse, Melissa????

I WISH! I WISH! oh, I can't type it big enough! I MISS MY HOUSE SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!! I despise this house and I dread coming home from work sometimes! The only thing I like about it is that John lives here, too.



Oh dear little Home, I miss you so much! :( It was a BIG mistake to sell you! i miss our yard and our trees and the snow that will cover the branches. I miss the chickens and yes, even the rooster, and I miss my old bedroom with its shield bugs and our lights with the strings and my uneven kitchen and the worn wood floors, the age old windows



I could go on and on. Every now and again, we ride by the house and see the dumpsters and the new roof and we are so sad but yet happy because we do know that some day we will have a farmhouse again, or at least live far far away from this place!


I miss every bit, every feel, every haunting lurk from the walls and floors and ground and nail..........we were a part of it all, and now we are just a part of its past.

This house is so terrible. It leaks and no one will even come to fix it. :( Let me just say one thing and everyone listen:

NEW doesn't mean BETTER. HARDSHIP doesn't mean UNHAPPINESS. Never think about only YOURSELF. HOUSES can have FEELINGS. OLD is BUILT TO LAST and there will never be anything in quality that can match what used to be:


"I am a 103 year-old bedroom"







Someday. I get wiser as each year passes. Four years ago, I lived in an apartment with my new husband and we would laugh and gag as we ran through the hallway, smelling our neighbor's hamburger helper. We would laugh as we swore loudly enough to know that the neighbors could hear, or that our music was funny or that our first couple weeks of marriage, we didn't have any furniture, so we would eat or dinners on our laps as we sat against the wall, looking toward the kitchen doorway, or how we shared the same shower every morning, laughing and flirting and didn't even care that our shower was right next the the wall that separated our apartment from the hallway...and that everyone probably heard our every thought...

...and then I got a job I thought would last me a lifetime (that I dreaded would last me a lifetime) and we bought a house that we knew we'd fix up and have kids in and build this utopian farm...but then jobs were lost and money was funneling by us like a tornado on the prairie...and I made it out to be terrible, but it was really some of the best times of my life!



















I'm sure (I KNOW!!!!!!!!) there will be many MANY more best times of my life, but I can't help but miss this old farmhouse that was once mine and come to terms with the fact that something that had seemed so permanant, is just yet another "apartment" in my life...growing up is tough, sometimes.  ¶ 8:32 PM

  day off

a little tummy, a sleepy me  ¶ 10:16 AM