Monday, August 29, 2005
too sick to be at home
What a day! Well, actually I thought last night was going to be the worst of things, but today I am S-I-C-K! I threw up 4 times this morning! In one sitting! I haven't thrown up in so long...now I remember why I hate it. I did feel MUCH better after I did it (x4), but all day, there's been a rolly ball in my top throat, and the smell of my house makes me gag!
It's terrible! It's mostly the kitchen and the bathroom. I think I have the bathroom culprit identified: peppermint soap. It's so funny, because 3 weeks ago, I remember sniffing it as much as my nose could suction in, and now I walk into the bathroom 10 hours after anyone has showered, and I want to gag.
The kitchen is a whole different story. I don't know WHAT it is. It is coming from the sink-area, and it's not dirty dishes. When food is cooking, I'm fine. It's very terrible. I worked from 6:30 a.m. til 3:35 p.m. today and actually didn't mind it, because, even sitting in my work chair, thinking about home, I'd gag. I wish is was any other place than my home. That makes it tough. :( I love being home, and it's really a bummer not being able to breathe without scrinching my face.
Who would have thought I'd be so whiny during all of this! To be honest, I never thought I'd get morning sickness. I never had any PMS symptoms other than emotional ones, so I figured that would somehow translate over to pregnancy symptoms. Not so!
It all seems so unreal to me, yet. (although the all day sicky-feeling and up-chucking is quickly convincing me!) Today, I told everyone at work, and I felt like one of those high school girls who tells everyone she's pregnant just to get attention (but, of course, she really isn't.)
I could just picture my co-workers standing in the school yard on a rainy autumn afternoon. "Yeah, can you believe Melissa told us she was pregnant! ha! And here she never was!"
"Yeah, what a way to get attention..."
I swear, I am! I really am. It just...feels, so...unreal!!! Me? After all of these years? It just happened just like that?
Ahh...why do I have this feeling I will throw up before the end of the night. (I'm at a coffee shop by the way). I'm unfortunately going to have to go home in 30 minutes, and it's not looking pretty! Tomorrow is my first doctor's visit! I will find out all of the details, such as my health and the baby's heath and due dates and all that fun stuff! I'm really excited, but nervous at the same time! ¶ 7:32 PM
It's terrible! It's mostly the kitchen and the bathroom. I think I have the bathroom culprit identified: peppermint soap. It's so funny, because 3 weeks ago, I remember sniffing it as much as my nose could suction in, and now I walk into the bathroom 10 hours after anyone has showered, and I want to gag.
The kitchen is a whole different story. I don't know WHAT it is. It is coming from the sink-area, and it's not dirty dishes. When food is cooking, I'm fine. It's very terrible. I worked from 6:30 a.m. til 3:35 p.m. today and actually didn't mind it, because, even sitting in my work chair, thinking about home, I'd gag. I wish is was any other place than my home. That makes it tough. :( I love being home, and it's really a bummer not being able to breathe without scrinching my face.
Who would have thought I'd be so whiny during all of this! To be honest, I never thought I'd get morning sickness. I never had any PMS symptoms other than emotional ones, so I figured that would somehow translate over to pregnancy symptoms. Not so!
It all seems so unreal to me, yet. (although the all day sicky-feeling and up-chucking is quickly convincing me!) Today, I told everyone at work, and I felt like one of those high school girls who tells everyone she's pregnant just to get attention (but, of course, she really isn't.)
I could just picture my co-workers standing in the school yard on a rainy autumn afternoon. "Yeah, can you believe Melissa told us she was pregnant! ha! And here she never was!"
"Yeah, what a way to get attention..."
I swear, I am! I really am. It just...feels, so...unreal!!! Me? After all of these years? It just happened just like that?
Ahh...why do I have this feeling I will throw up before the end of the night. (I'm at a coffee shop by the way). I'm unfortunately going to have to go home in 30 minutes, and it's not looking pretty! Tomorrow is my first doctor's visit! I will find out all of the details, such as my health and the baby's heath and due dates and all that fun stuff! I'm really excited, but nervous at the same time! ¶ 7:32 PM
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Saturday = work day
Today didn't seem much like a Saturday because I had to get up at 5:30 and go to work! Waaah! Earlier in the week, they had asked if I could come in for a couple hours just to see what working a weekend was like. Then they definately needed me to come in to do some work that needed to be done before Monday morning. Then on Thursday, they said that actually did NOT need to be done. So, yesterday, I asked if they still wanted me to come in for a bit...and the reply was:
"Well, if you want to?"
So, that left me with mixed feelings.
a)I really did not want to.
but
b)it would look bad if I didn't come in at all.
So, I opted to come in this morning. I punched in at 6:55 and out at 12:20, so, a nice little 5 hour day. It will all count as overtime, too, so! Time and a half! :-)
Other than that, I've been feeling really icky all day long! When I first woke up, my stomach was sloshing all around. John was really nice and went to the store to get me some Fruity Pebbles and Milk at 6:00! But before I ate, I almost threw up again! I told John that the baby probably didn't want to go to work. And he jokingly told me that I can't start blaming everything on the baby! Hehehe...but it's probably true.
When I got home, we made a frozen pizza and then took a nap until 4:00. That was nice! Now we have to go to the store to get potatoes. John sisters and their kids are visiting, and tomorrow we're all having a picnic. So we thought we'd bring some potato salad. We were going to to announce the news tomorrow, but one of John's sisters already figured it out -- and she brought us a crib!! :) ¶ 6:39 PM
"Well, if you want to?"
So, that left me with mixed feelings.
a)I really did not want to.
but
b)it would look bad if I didn't come in at all.
So, I opted to come in this morning. I punched in at 6:55 and out at 12:20, so, a nice little 5 hour day. It will all count as overtime, too, so! Time and a half! :-)
Other than that, I've been feeling really icky all day long! When I first woke up, my stomach was sloshing all around. John was really nice and went to the store to get me some Fruity Pebbles and Milk at 6:00! But before I ate, I almost threw up again! I told John that the baby probably didn't want to go to work. And he jokingly told me that I can't start blaming everything on the baby! Hehehe...but it's probably true.
When I got home, we made a frozen pizza and then took a nap until 4:00. That was nice! Now we have to go to the store to get potatoes. John sisters and their kids are visiting, and tomorrow we're all having a picnic. So we thought we'd bring some potato salad. We were going to to announce the news tomorrow, but one of John's sisters already figured it out -- and she brought us a crib!! :) ¶ 6:39 PM
Thursday, August 25, 2005
naming the entry
Today was kind of an icky-feeling day. I felt extra-hungry all day, but only found a couple things I could gag down. I think it's really weird how I can't eat a lot of stuff. I did find out that I can eat Spaghetti O's rather well. Last night I ate a whole can for dinner, along with some steamed spinach. I came home from work today, starving, and cooked myself some cheese tortellini as well. I have about 1/2 eaten. I think I'm starting to slow down.
My sandwich at work was good, but I really don't like the bread. It's from Panera. What I really want is some really fluffy white bread, from the store. As white as white can get. I know white isn't the most healthy, but right now it seems sooo good! A lady from work made some oatmeal-craison-chocolate chip-nut cookies. I had three at work and grabbed two for home. I plan on giving John one for being such a cutie.
Last night, he was pretty down and crabby about work and our house situation. We're looking to sell soon. With the rates as they are, we really want to buy some property up near my folks. There's 120 acres 2 miles from Lake Superior...we're going to go look at some properties over Labor Day weekend. The plan is to pay on that while we live in an apartment or rent a house or something in this area til we figure out if John's going to go to school or not. So it might be two years or so before we actually LIVE on the property, but that will give us time to plan AND a chance to lock into the good interest rates (that won't be here for much longer).
So, yes, I mentioned briefly that all went wonderful with my blood test. After I got the results, I asked if I could make an appointment to meet with my doctor. Of course! Only the bad news is that she is booked until September 28th. There is no way I'm going to wait a month! So...the lady looked at some other doctors' schedules, and found that a man-doctor had August 30th, at 10:30 open. So I made my first motherly choice and went with him. Even though he's a guy, I'm sure it will be fine. :S No matter who I have as a doctor, it's all going to be scary and new!!!
The things I am most excited to know are: due date (my woman's intuition tells me that I am about 7 weeks, but I have no way of really knowing!), condition of baby (is he/she healthy and where he/she should be), how the heck this happened (I know by way of sex, but I've been doing that unprotectedly with John for over 5 years!!...a higher power, maybe?)
Ohhhh interjection. My mom always told me that her doctor said I was her miracle baby. My mom really wanted to have more kids after I was born, but she just couldn't, and she'd always cry and ask her doctor, "why? I was able to have Melissa!" and then he told her: "Maybe Melissa was your little miracle," and that was an answer good enough for my mom!
This baby will definately be my miracle. I don't care if it's the only one I have or not, I already love it and want the best for it! I am so excited to see the doctor! They told me the appointment will be about 1 1/2 - 2 hours long, because the first half is kind of an overview of what being pregnant means hospital-wise. I think that will be very interesting! luckily, John can even come to my appointment with me.
I am still in awe and can't believe it. It just goes to show that sometimes trying and wanting too hard is just out of our control; sometimes we have to be patient and wait and it will come when we least expect it. Just like this! My hubby's bandmember's wife is due in like, one week, and i can remember screaming and crying as I took down the Christmas tree, when she had first found out. THEN, in February, I found out that another wife was pregnant, and I just never ever thought it would happen to me.
My mom always told me: "it's not a race...when the time is right!" and that would mostly make me even more upset. But once again, my mother is right, she always is.
She is so excited about all of this. She has always wanted to be a grandma. My mom is only 45, too!! Hehehehe... :-) the other thing I'm happy about is that I will be 24 when he/she is born, so when he/she is 20, I'll only be 44. John will be 46, when the little baby is 20. We'll still be all young and roarin' to go!
I told my boss about my appointment, and i was very ready to tell her what for, but she didn't ask, so I didn't say anything more. The funny this is that a bunch of people had bets on who would be pregnant next, and it was between me and another girl, but everyone had me in the lead.
We're going to tell John's family this weekend. His sisters and our nieces and nephews will be visiting, along with his parents, so we're going to have a big picnic at a park. He has promised to tell them, because I'll be way to nervous and embarassed! I think everyone will be happy. I think the oldest "cousin(!)" is in 5th grade, and the youngest is 2. John's sister always asks us when we're going to have babies, so I think she'll be so happy!
I just have to make sure I do everything I can to be as healthy as possible so everyone wins! (of course my mom lived on Buster Bars for many weeks, and I'll allow myself to do that! but I just need to have everything in the baby's best interest!) I also need to get over to the bookstore and buy a baby journal!!! ¶ 4:11 PM
My sandwich at work was good, but I really don't like the bread. It's from Panera. What I really want is some really fluffy white bread, from the store. As white as white can get. I know white isn't the most healthy, but right now it seems sooo good! A lady from work made some oatmeal-craison-chocolate chip-nut cookies. I had three at work and grabbed two for home. I plan on giving John one for being such a cutie.
Last night, he was pretty down and crabby about work and our house situation. We're looking to sell soon. With the rates as they are, we really want to buy some property up near my folks. There's 120 acres 2 miles from Lake Superior...we're going to go look at some properties over Labor Day weekend. The plan is to pay on that while we live in an apartment or rent a house or something in this area til we figure out if John's going to go to school or not. So it might be two years or so before we actually LIVE on the property, but that will give us time to plan AND a chance to lock into the good interest rates (that won't be here for much longer).
So, yes, I mentioned briefly that all went wonderful with my blood test. After I got the results, I asked if I could make an appointment to meet with my doctor. Of course! Only the bad news is that she is booked until September 28th. There is no way I'm going to wait a month! So...the lady looked at some other doctors' schedules, and found that a man-doctor had August 30th, at 10:30 open. So I made my first motherly choice and went with him. Even though he's a guy, I'm sure it will be fine. :S No matter who I have as a doctor, it's all going to be scary and new!!!
The things I am most excited to know are: due date (my woman's intuition tells me that I am about 7 weeks, but I have no way of really knowing!), condition of baby (is he/she healthy and where he/she should be), how the heck this happened (I know by way of sex, but I've been doing that unprotectedly with John for over 5 years!!...a higher power, maybe?)
Ohhhh interjection. My mom always told me that her doctor said I was her miracle baby. My mom really wanted to have more kids after I was born, but she just couldn't, and she'd always cry and ask her doctor, "why? I was able to have Melissa!" and then he told her: "Maybe Melissa was your little miracle," and that was an answer good enough for my mom!
This baby will definately be my miracle. I don't care if it's the only one I have or not, I already love it and want the best for it! I am so excited to see the doctor! They told me the appointment will be about 1 1/2 - 2 hours long, because the first half is kind of an overview of what being pregnant means hospital-wise. I think that will be very interesting! luckily, John can even come to my appointment with me.
I am still in awe and can't believe it. It just goes to show that sometimes trying and wanting too hard is just out of our control; sometimes we have to be patient and wait and it will come when we least expect it. Just like this! My hubby's bandmember's wife is due in like, one week, and i can remember screaming and crying as I took down the Christmas tree, when she had first found out. THEN, in February, I found out that another wife was pregnant, and I just never ever thought it would happen to me.
My mom always told me: "it's not a race...when the time is right!" and that would mostly make me even more upset. But once again, my mother is right, she always is.
She is so excited about all of this. She has always wanted to be a grandma. My mom is only 45, too!! Hehehehe... :-) the other thing I'm happy about is that I will be 24 when he/she is born, so when he/she is 20, I'll only be 44. John will be 46, when the little baby is 20. We'll still be all young and roarin' to go!
I told my boss about my appointment, and i was very ready to tell her what for, but she didn't ask, so I didn't say anything more. The funny this is that a bunch of people had bets on who would be pregnant next, and it was between me and another girl, but everyone had me in the lead.
We're going to tell John's family this weekend. His sisters and our nieces and nephews will be visiting, along with his parents, so we're going to have a big picnic at a park. He has promised to tell them, because I'll be way to nervous and embarassed! I think everyone will be happy. I think the oldest "cousin(!)" is in 5th grade, and the youngest is 2. John's sister always asks us when we're going to have babies, so I think she'll be so happy!
I just have to make sure I do everything I can to be as healthy as possible so everyone wins! (of course my mom lived on Buster Bars for many weeks, and I'll allow myself to do that! but I just need to have everything in the baby's best interest!) I also need to get over to the bookstore and buy a baby journal!!! ¶ 4:11 PM
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
no results yet!
I went to the lab, got the blood drawn (OUCH!), and then they told me I'd have to wait til tomorrow morning to get the results. GRR....The anticipation is killing me!!!
The real bummer is that I work at 7:00, so I won't get to call until after I get home, around 3:45 or so! I'm still very nervous that the bloodwork will say "You are NOT!"
But then again, who was the one making her husband pull over on the side of the freeway on the way to the clinic, because she was almost going to puke in the car. Talk about embarrassing. He pulled over by some really nice yard, and I was just hoping I wouldn't have to...luckily, I didn't! Gross!!
After my appointment, we went to a music store. John's guitar had an accident last fall, and really can't be repaired, so he's looking at new guitars. We tried spaghetti at our favorite pizza place, but it was more like sauce topped with noodles. :( I didn't eat very much, nor could I anyway. I've been feeling icky all day...I was really nervous (am really nervous) about finding out the results!
We also went to this one park that has ducks, peacocks, prairie dogs, and goats, and other various animals. It was a lot of fun. I'm so tired, so I'm going to go to bed now, 9:20 or not. ¶ 9:18 PM
The real bummer is that I work at 7:00, so I won't get to call until after I get home, around 3:45 or so! I'm still very nervous that the bloodwork will say "You are NOT!"
But then again, who was the one making her husband pull over on the side of the freeway on the way to the clinic, because she was almost going to puke in the car. Talk about embarrassing. He pulled over by some really nice yard, and I was just hoping I wouldn't have to...luckily, I didn't! Gross!!
After my appointment, we went to a music store. John's guitar had an accident last fall, and really can't be repaired, so he's looking at new guitars. We tried spaghetti at our favorite pizza place, but it was more like sauce topped with noodles. :( I didn't eat very much, nor could I anyway. I've been feeling icky all day...I was really nervous (am really nervous) about finding out the results!
We also went to this one park that has ducks, peacocks, prairie dogs, and goats, and other various animals. It was a lot of fun. I'm so tired, so I'm going to go to bed now, 9:20 or not. ¶ 9:18 PM
Monday, August 22, 2005
from the lab, to the lab!
I am supposed to be making a homemade pizza while John mows the lawn, but I thought I'd stop by for a quick update. Before I can see the doctor, I have to stop at the lab and get my blood taken so they can do a doctor's office style pregnancy test. Now I'm all nervous that it will be negative! For some reason, I've been holding onto so much disbelief! But I'm sure it will say yes, because those at-home tests say they are 99% accurate, so that should pretty much be the truth.
So yes, tomorrow I'll have to leave work so that I can go over to the clinic before they close - they said the lab there really doesn't have any hours, so I can call two hours later, and they should have the results.
if it's all confirmed, then I can go ahead and schedule an appointment with the doctor. So many steps, but I guess they all lead to where I should be going.
Work today was nothing at all but work. I just heard the lawn mower start, so I better get into the kitchen and start kneading some pizza dough!! ¶ 5:41 PM
So yes, tomorrow I'll have to leave work so that I can go over to the clinic before they close - they said the lab there really doesn't have any hours, so I can call two hours later, and they should have the results.
if it's all confirmed, then I can go ahead and schedule an appointment with the doctor. So many steps, but I guess they all lead to where I should be going.
Work today was nothing at all but work. I just heard the lawn mower start, so I better get into the kitchen and start kneading some pizza dough!! ¶ 5:41 PM
Sunday, August 21, 2005
results are in...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning, and I couldn't fall back asleep. As nervous as I was to take the pregnancy test, I knew it would get done sooner or later, and I really couldn't take the anxiety anymore. Finally, at 4:25 or so, I got up out of bed and went into the bathroom and took the test. Usually, I leave the room for the two minutes it takes, but this time, I just stood there and shook and stared. About 80% of me knew that I was pregnant, but, when I bought the test, that dwindled down to about 5%.
I stared in amazment as the first line to appear was the line that tells you that you are, indeed pregnant. But I thought maybe this blue line would move and fill out the rest of the test, and, by the end, wouldn't even be there anymore.
WRONG.
It stayed the strongest line the entire time, and the other line that formed the "+" appeared, faintly (the one that goes across, that would otherwise would have been the "-" sign. The line in the control window was there, too. It was indeed a "+", and I just can't believe it! But these tests are 99% accurate and rarely give false possitives......so wooooooooow...i did say I was going to go fly around the moon and back, didn't I? So I'd better get packing.
Tomorrow I will have to call a doctor and get over there and confirm. I just have no idea when the baby (OHHHH MY GOD, that's so weird to say!) is due because I haven't had anything since May, and I don't think there's any way I could be 3 months. For some reason, my women's intuition says "6 weeks."
I called my mom at 25 to 5 this morning. I knew it was kind of inconsiderate, but she's been with me through this whole thing...not just this last week, but the entire 4 years I've been trying. 4 YEARS! I mean, in junior high, they're all like: "It is SO easy to get pregnant, blah, blah, blah," but it really isn't. You have like less than a day's window, and, with some people like me who have no set timing, you have NO clue when it is or if it's even happening!!! But my mom wasn't mad a bit. She's SO excited to be a grandma....I'm her only, so it was all up to me, and I'm soooo excited to see her as a Grandma -she's going to be wonderful!!
I can't believe John is going to be a dad! I don't think it has really hit him. I mean, considering I took the test at the wee hours of the morning, I called him into the bathroom and showed him, but he just squinted in the bright lights and gave me a hug and went back to bed. He's been sleeping like a log ever since. We briefly talked about it, well, I did, but he's just sleeping and sleeping away.
I have to do everything I can to make sure I do the best thing possible now! I have to tell the doctor that I'm a vegetarian and maybe get some books that have special diets in them to make sure I'm eating balanced. I have to get the vitamins and do all I can to be so healthy so the baby can be healthy! This might be my one and only chance...a miracle. I was a miracle to my mom, and maybe God saw how much I wanted a baby, so He was like, "This is as good as time as any...Mel has insurance, a good job, a nice home that doesn't need all that fixin' up, and John is set with his job and they have a master plan to move back North.......so let's give her this chance!!"
Others, I've read, try SUPER hard for their first one, and it takes FOREVER, but then the next ones come sooo easily. Maybe I'll end up with 4 babies. But all I ever wanted since I fell in love with John was to have ONE baby with him....just one, so I could go through life and experience being a mother to someone. I'm confident I'll be a good mom...I know it's harder that it looks and you have to dedicate everything to their livelyhood, but I can do it! I am ready!
I just can't believe it actually came out possitive. I already feel like I'm glowing. ¶ 9:34 AM
I stared in amazment as the first line to appear was the line that tells you that you are, indeed pregnant. But I thought maybe this blue line would move and fill out the rest of the test, and, by the end, wouldn't even be there anymore.
WRONG.
It stayed the strongest line the entire time, and the other line that formed the "+" appeared, faintly (the one that goes across, that would otherwise would have been the "-" sign. The line in the control window was there, too. It was indeed a "+", and I just can't believe it! But these tests are 99% accurate and rarely give false possitives......so wooooooooow...i did say I was going to go fly around the moon and back, didn't I? So I'd better get packing.
Tomorrow I will have to call a doctor and get over there and confirm. I just have no idea when the baby (OHHHH MY GOD, that's so weird to say!) is due because I haven't had anything since May, and I don't think there's any way I could be 3 months. For some reason, my women's intuition says "6 weeks."
I called my mom at 25 to 5 this morning. I knew it was kind of inconsiderate, but she's been with me through this whole thing...not just this last week, but the entire 4 years I've been trying. 4 YEARS! I mean, in junior high, they're all like: "It is SO easy to get pregnant, blah, blah, blah," but it really isn't. You have like less than a day's window, and, with some people like me who have no set timing, you have NO clue when it is or if it's even happening!!! But my mom wasn't mad a bit. She's SO excited to be a grandma....I'm her only, so it was all up to me, and I'm soooo excited to see her as a Grandma -she's going to be wonderful!!
I can't believe John is going to be a dad! I don't think it has really hit him. I mean, considering I took the test at the wee hours of the morning, I called him into the bathroom and showed him, but he just squinted in the bright lights and gave me a hug and went back to bed. He's been sleeping like a log ever since. We briefly talked about it, well, I did, but he's just sleeping and sleeping away.
I have to do everything I can to make sure I do the best thing possible now! I have to tell the doctor that I'm a vegetarian and maybe get some books that have special diets in them to make sure I'm eating balanced. I have to get the vitamins and do all I can to be so healthy so the baby can be healthy! This might be my one and only chance...a miracle. I was a miracle to my mom, and maybe God saw how much I wanted a baby, so He was like, "This is as good as time as any...Mel has insurance, a good job, a nice home that doesn't need all that fixin' up, and John is set with his job and they have a master plan to move back North.......so let's give her this chance!!"
Others, I've read, try SUPER hard for their first one, and it takes FOREVER, but then the next ones come sooo easily. Maybe I'll end up with 4 babies. But all I ever wanted since I fell in love with John was to have ONE baby with him....just one, so I could go through life and experience being a mother to someone. I'm confident I'll be a good mom...I know it's harder that it looks and you have to dedicate everything to their livelyhood, but I can do it! I am ready!
I just can't believe it actually came out possitive. I already feel like I'm glowing. ¶ 9:34 AM
Friday, August 19, 2005
oh my...
I have tears streaming down my face, yet I'm not sad. I am so happy and proud...my cousin and her husband had their baby yesterday, and my Dad just sent me pictures from the hospital. The baby is the cutest in the whole world. He has so much brown hair and the cutest little face. I just think about me and my cousin so many years ago. She is about 7 years older than me, and I can remember being so little and sitting by her in church and copying her every move. I would get her hand-me-downs and just die! So when I saw her smiling picture, next to her husband, holding their baby, it was just so REAL it was unreal, and I just think they are ALL the cutest in the world! I'm so proud of them, and once again, I'm just dying for the chance to be like her. I can't wait until I can hold a little bundle just like their son....only my own! :-)
the new family!
What else has been going on? Actually, a lot. Yesterday, I got to go into work at 7:00 a.m., so I was able to come home at 3:00! That was nice! You'll never guess what I did after work! I went to my co-worker's sex-toy party. yeah! Me. Ha, ha. I just found it necessary to get out there and socialize with some of my work people, since I really don't talk a whole lot at work. The one lady who is training me, well, I don't think she cares for me all that much. She said some rude things at the party, but I think it's just because she and her husband got divorced less than a year ago...it was a reference to John dropping me off/picking me up. Oh well. I don't care. I'm proud of our close relationship! :-) I didn't buy anything too dangerous at the party, although I saw/held some things I never had before. Haha...I did get some edible strawberry stuff, some dice, and massage oil. It warms up when you rub it, and gets hott when you breathe on it. Hehehehe...
I still haven't been feeling like myself. I can't eat a THING. It's terrible. Today, I scrambled three eggs for breakfast, and I forced myself to eat half of them. I felt like puking. At lunch, I could only eat my sandwich...barely! The whole afternoon, my stomach felt like one big empty pit, but any thoughts of food made my stomach curl. Oh yeah, and me, Mrs. 2 Nalgene bottles of water a day.....yeah, try 1/4 a day. It's terrible. My tongue is always white, but I can't drink! One morning I sat on the bed and drank a glass of water, and then, I threw it up 10 minutes later (just water and toothpaste...it was gross, but not as gross as it could have been. I haven't thrown up since 5th grade, so I KNOW something is wrong!) Whenever I think about wet kittens or kittens in general, I just want to run to the bathroom. It's terrible. :( If it is indeed so that I could be, well, pregnant (and believe me, I'm hoping more than there are stars in the skies), I am going to buy a test this weekend. If it says YES, I will fly around the moon and back and then to the doctor's, and, if it says no, I will be sad and call the OB-GYN department and say:
I HAVEN'T had a period since MAY, and I've had PMS for a month now, and this last week I've been eating less than a 2 year-old's serving size of food, the smell of my house makes me want to puke, and I haven't taken my herbal pill since we've moved, so recheck my blood and my hormone levels and tell me what's going on!
Other than that, my hubby is at band practice. It's probaby a good night for him to be gone, since I woke up at 5:30 for work. And then went to work...and then unexpectedly worked at 10 hour day. Oh, I mean a 10 hour-10 minute day. It was crazy...but I guess the extra 2 hours won't hurt any since I missed the entirety of Monday.
Good music alert...any Pedro the Lion fans out there? I found the Pedro guy's newest project called "Headphones" last weekend. It's almost Pedro the Lion but they use tons more keyboards, actually, only keyboards and drums. It's awesome. I like Pedro better, but this is definately "second best". hahaha...
I so need to get my record player set up. I miss that..."I can learn to live with this!" la de da!! (me singing). I think I'm delerious. It's bed time. Bye everyone.
ps: isn't the baby the CUTEST????? ¶ 8:29 PM
the new family!
What else has been going on? Actually, a lot. Yesterday, I got to go into work at 7:00 a.m., so I was able to come home at 3:00! That was nice! You'll never guess what I did after work! I went to my co-worker's sex-toy party. yeah! Me. Ha, ha. I just found it necessary to get out there and socialize with some of my work people, since I really don't talk a whole lot at work. The one lady who is training me, well, I don't think she cares for me all that much. She said some rude things at the party, but I think it's just because she and her husband got divorced less than a year ago...it was a reference to John dropping me off/picking me up. Oh well. I don't care. I'm proud of our close relationship! :-) I didn't buy anything too dangerous at the party, although I saw/held some things I never had before. Haha...I did get some edible strawberry stuff, some dice, and massage oil. It warms up when you rub it, and gets hott when you breathe on it. Hehehehe...
I still haven't been feeling like myself. I can't eat a THING. It's terrible. Today, I scrambled three eggs for breakfast, and I forced myself to eat half of them. I felt like puking. At lunch, I could only eat my sandwich...barely! The whole afternoon, my stomach felt like one big empty pit, but any thoughts of food made my stomach curl. Oh yeah, and me, Mrs. 2 Nalgene bottles of water a day.....yeah, try 1/4 a day. It's terrible. My tongue is always white, but I can't drink! One morning I sat on the bed and drank a glass of water, and then, I threw it up 10 minutes later (just water and toothpaste...it was gross, but not as gross as it could have been. I haven't thrown up since 5th grade, so I KNOW something is wrong!) Whenever I think about wet kittens or kittens in general, I just want to run to the bathroom. It's terrible. :( If it is indeed so that I could be, well, pregnant (and believe me, I'm hoping more than there are stars in the skies), I am going to buy a test this weekend. If it says YES, I will fly around the moon and back and then to the doctor's, and, if it says no, I will be sad and call the OB-GYN department and say:
I HAVEN'T had a period since MAY, and I've had PMS for a month now, and this last week I've been eating less than a 2 year-old's serving size of food, the smell of my house makes me want to puke, and I haven't taken my herbal pill since we've moved, so recheck my blood and my hormone levels and tell me what's going on!
Other than that, my hubby is at band practice. It's probaby a good night for him to be gone, since I woke up at 5:30 for work. And then went to work...and then unexpectedly worked at 10 hour day. Oh, I mean a 10 hour-10 minute day. It was crazy...but I guess the extra 2 hours won't hurt any since I missed the entirety of Monday.
Good music alert...any Pedro the Lion fans out there? I found the Pedro guy's newest project called "Headphones" last weekend. It's almost Pedro the Lion but they use tons more keyboards, actually, only keyboards and drums. It's awesome. I like Pedro better, but this is definately "second best". hahaha...
I so need to get my record player set up. I miss that..."I can learn to live with this!" la de da!! (me singing). I think I'm delerious. It's bed time. Bye everyone.
ps: isn't the baby the CUTEST????? ¶ 8:29 PM
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
BTL
I'm still feeling quite ill, but I went to work today. It kept me busy. Toward the end of the day, I was feeling pretty normal, but as soon as I got into the car and started driving around, it hit me again. Now I can barely walk around. The thought of any food makes me feel even worse, but I feel hungry. Ginger Ale by my side.
¶ 6:54 PM
Monday, August 15, 2005
this post made possible by: SALTINE crackers
I *finally* got some of my pictures uploaded. It took a long time. There are probably some 30 pictures I'm going to post, and I picked them out of over one hundred photos. Looking thru, the pictures really don't do much justice as to what we saw yesterday!
We headed out in the morning, around 11:00. Our first stop was to get coffee. John went in and got them while I waited in the car and snapped some pictures of the town, just for fun, through the car window. Here's one of them.
This building was an old bank. Now it's a sub shop!
Me waiting in the car! It was chilly outside, so I wore a sweater the entire day. It was sure nice to wear my happy sweater.
Next we drove and drove and drove and drove. The next stop was a small town called Sleepy Eye, named after an Indian Chief. But before we pulled into the town, I took some pictures of a really, really long train! They aren't the best pictures, because we were driving 60 mph, but luckily the train was at a stop.
This is my favorite one. For some reason, it makes me think "P.T. Barnum!"
We saw a lot of farms, but not many silos. Silos have always fascinated me.
We stopped for lunch and then headed onward to Jeffers Petroglyphs. We looked around the visitor's center, watched a short movie, and then walked around a little bit outdoors. We made it there just in time for a driving tour around other fascinating places of the area.
The first place was a quarry. I didn't find it too interesting because it was just a quarry...but the layered rocks were beautiful. The next place was gorgeous. Next to the petroglyphs, it was my favorite. It is a hot spot for the youth of the area, because it consists of dells, waterfalls, and...a bottomless pit! That's right! Many people have tried swimming to the bottom, but to no avail.
This is just the beginning!
some of the rock...it's a deep drop!
looking across, you can see a small picnic area with a rope that people use to swing themselves into the PIT!
the pit...I don't know if I'd go in there!
John contemplating if he should jump in or not...just kidding. He was scared of the height!
A pretty waterfall at the other end of the park.
Next, we moved on to another park. I'm sorry I don't remember the names of these places. I really don't even remember what was said about them. I was just fascinated by their appearances, not by the words that were spoken about them. It was just another area created by glaciers long, long ago. Beautiful rocks, some of the oldest exposed rocks in the world.
lichens gradually taking over the surface of the rocks. ¶ 1:22 PM
We headed out in the morning, around 11:00. Our first stop was to get coffee. John went in and got them while I waited in the car and snapped some pictures of the town, just for fun, through the car window. Here's one of them.
This building was an old bank. Now it's a sub shop!
Me waiting in the car! It was chilly outside, so I wore a sweater the entire day. It was sure nice to wear my happy sweater.
Next we drove and drove and drove and drove. The next stop was a small town called Sleepy Eye, named after an Indian Chief. But before we pulled into the town, I took some pictures of a really, really long train! They aren't the best pictures, because we were driving 60 mph, but luckily the train was at a stop.
This is my favorite one. For some reason, it makes me think "P.T. Barnum!"
We saw a lot of farms, but not many silos. Silos have always fascinated me.
We stopped for lunch and then headed onward to Jeffers Petroglyphs. We looked around the visitor's center, watched a short movie, and then walked around a little bit outdoors. We made it there just in time for a driving tour around other fascinating places of the area.
The first place was a quarry. I didn't find it too interesting because it was just a quarry...but the layered rocks were beautiful. The next place was gorgeous. Next to the petroglyphs, it was my favorite. It is a hot spot for the youth of the area, because it consists of dells, waterfalls, and...a bottomless pit! That's right! Many people have tried swimming to the bottom, but to no avail.
This is just the beginning!
some of the rock...it's a deep drop!
looking across, you can see a small picnic area with a rope that people use to swing themselves into the PIT!
the pit...I don't know if I'd go in there!
John contemplating if he should jump in or not...just kidding. He was scared of the height!
A pretty waterfall at the other end of the park.
Next, we moved on to another park. I'm sorry I don't remember the names of these places. I really don't even remember what was said about them. I was just fascinated by their appearances, not by the words that were spoken about them. It was just another area created by glaciers long, long ago. Beautiful rocks, some of the oldest exposed rocks in the world.
lichens gradually taking over the surface of the rocks. ¶ 1:22 PM
interrupted
(note: for some reason, it wouldn't let me post this all as one post. So I broke it into two. Thanks!)
Next, we headed back to the petroglyphs. For those of you who do not know, I just so happen to have some Native American blood flowing through my veins. I'm not sure just how much, but enough for me to recognize the fact that it's there and be proud of it. What makes things interesting, is that these petroglyphs were visited by the buffalo-hunting plains Indians, namely the Dakota Indians. I just so happen to have Chippewa in me, who lived in the forests of the North...but I still felt connected and haunted by the past! They say some of these carvings were done 5,000 years ago! It has only been a historical site since the 1960s. Before then, it was used as farmland. When the state bought it, they also re-created the prairie that would have once grounded itself in the earth. In fact, one of the first signs we saw said: "Landscaped by Mother Nature."
BUT. Before I get into it any farther, I must draw your attention to a photo I took JUST for my friend Julie! Julie loves llamas, and, when I saw this cute little fellow, I just had to have John pull over and let me take a shot!!
A llama for Julie. There were several llamas in the sheep pasture, protecting the flock.
The visitor's center at the petroglyphs.
The prairie was full of black-eyed susans, my mom's favorite flower.
You know those deer targets people have in their backyards? Well, this place had a buffalo target, along with a shooting range. They had a weapon that you could learn to use. This weapon was around before the bow and arrow. It was called an Atlatls.
John standing on the rock, looking for some petroglyphs.
Did we find any?
We sure did!!!
carvings of weapons, namely the atlatls
a thunderbird..and a buffalo!
nothing other than a turtle!
Closer to the other end of the rock, we found the one and only carving at this site, of a head and shoulders and handprint! Oh my...
At the end of the trail, we also saw a "buffalo rub." Like bears and trees, buffalo rubbed up against rocks to help shed their fur and scratch their itches. The scary thing: where they rubbed was polished to a mirror finish! I could see my face in the rock from centuries upon centuries of buffalo rubs! We were there, outside, for about 7 hours!
We took a different way home and stopped in the town of Windom on the chance that they would have a pizza place. We decided to first look downtown. And were we glad we did! It was beautiful. Most downtowns these days have either moved to the highways or have empty buildings left and right. Not this one. Every old building was filled with businesses. A food co-op, a bakery, shoe stores, clothing stores, cell phone stores, hardware stores. It was amazing. The coolest thing? Their courthouse! It was in the center of town, and the downtown actually made a square around it, holding to tradition!
some of the neat, old buildings. This old bank, now a library!
I think this was an electronics store.
The COURTHOUSE!!!
The statue on the tippity-top of the dome!
Overall, the day was so overwhelming with days from the past...it was nice to see so many new things. ¶ 1:20 PM
Next, we headed back to the petroglyphs. For those of you who do not know, I just so happen to have some Native American blood flowing through my veins. I'm not sure just how much, but enough for me to recognize the fact that it's there and be proud of it. What makes things interesting, is that these petroglyphs were visited by the buffalo-hunting plains Indians, namely the Dakota Indians. I just so happen to have Chippewa in me, who lived in the forests of the North...but I still felt connected and haunted by the past! They say some of these carvings were done 5,000 years ago! It has only been a historical site since the 1960s. Before then, it was used as farmland. When the state bought it, they also re-created the prairie that would have once grounded itself in the earth. In fact, one of the first signs we saw said: "Landscaped by Mother Nature."
BUT. Before I get into it any farther, I must draw your attention to a photo I took JUST for my friend Julie! Julie loves llamas, and, when I saw this cute little fellow, I just had to have John pull over and let me take a shot!!
A llama for Julie. There were several llamas in the sheep pasture, protecting the flock.
The visitor's center at the petroglyphs.
The prairie was full of black-eyed susans, my mom's favorite flower.
You know those deer targets people have in their backyards? Well, this place had a buffalo target, along with a shooting range. They had a weapon that you could learn to use. This weapon was around before the bow and arrow. It was called an Atlatls.
John standing on the rock, looking for some petroglyphs.
Did we find any?
We sure did!!!
carvings of weapons, namely the atlatls
a thunderbird..and a buffalo!
nothing other than a turtle!
Closer to the other end of the rock, we found the one and only carving at this site, of a head and shoulders and handprint! Oh my...
At the end of the trail, we also saw a "buffalo rub." Like bears and trees, buffalo rubbed up against rocks to help shed their fur and scratch their itches. The scary thing: where they rubbed was polished to a mirror finish! I could see my face in the rock from centuries upon centuries of buffalo rubs! We were there, outside, for about 7 hours!
We took a different way home and stopped in the town of Windom on the chance that they would have a pizza place. We decided to first look downtown. And were we glad we did! It was beautiful. Most downtowns these days have either moved to the highways or have empty buildings left and right. Not this one. Every old building was filled with businesses. A food co-op, a bakery, shoe stores, clothing stores, cell phone stores, hardware stores. It was amazing. The coolest thing? Their courthouse! It was in the center of town, and the downtown actually made a square around it, holding to tradition!
some of the neat, old buildings. This old bank, now a library!
I think this was an electronics store.
The COURTHOUSE!!!
The statue on the tippity-top of the dome!
Overall, the day was so overwhelming with days from the past...it was nice to see so many new things. ¶ 1:20 PM
i'm sick today
I am home sick today. I wasn't feeling right yesterday, and, as the day progressed, I felt worse and worse. I couldn't eat anything all day. When I woke up this morning, I didn't feel much better. I had a glass of Five Alive, which was a big mistake. I think that made things worse. What I really want is some chicken noodle soup, only I can't have it. The co-op has some vegetarian "chicken" noodle soup. John said he would pick some up; I hope he remembers.
I had to call work this morning, too. That was hard. I always feel so bad. This is the first day I've ever missed at this job, and I've been there for just about three months. John said there's nothing wrong with missing one day in three months. I suppose not.
Yesterday I was really crabby and stuff. I figured I was still upset from the night before. But then I started feeling ill, and I sure don't get it. I was going to post my pictures, too, but I couldn't even sit at the computer. I am having a difficult time right now, but watching TV is boring, I can't eat anything, and I don't want to shower because there are two men in my backyard. Yeah. They were hammering and drilling and talking loudly on their stupid cell phones. So I called John, and he called them, and they said they didn't know I was here, sick, so they would leave. Last time I checked, both trucks were still in the driveway. It's just uncomfortable knowing that Saturday when we came home, there were people in our house, and now, we supposedly have all the keys, but who's to say that's the truth. I just dont want anyone coming into the house while I'm in the shower.
Well, these saltine crackers seem to be working. Maybe I'll be able to put up my pictures. ¶ 12:44 PM
I had to call work this morning, too. That was hard. I always feel so bad. This is the first day I've ever missed at this job, and I've been there for just about three months. John said there's nothing wrong with missing one day in three months. I suppose not.
Yesterday I was really crabby and stuff. I figured I was still upset from the night before. But then I started feeling ill, and I sure don't get it. I was going to post my pictures, too, but I couldn't even sit at the computer. I am having a difficult time right now, but watching TV is boring, I can't eat anything, and I don't want to shower because there are two men in my backyard. Yeah. They were hammering and drilling and talking loudly on their stupid cell phones. So I called John, and he called them, and they said they didn't know I was here, sick, so they would leave. Last time I checked, both trucks were still in the driveway. It's just uncomfortable knowing that Saturday when we came home, there were people in our house, and now, we supposedly have all the keys, but who's to say that's the truth. I just dont want anyone coming into the house while I'm in the shower.
Well, these saltine crackers seem to be working. Maybe I'll be able to put up my pictures. ¶ 12:44 PM
Sunday, August 14, 2005
dream day, nightmare night...so sorry.
Today...
...the day was perfect. The night was a disaster.
Do you want me to go into it right now? Ok. I will. The good part, the daytime, will be expressed in more detail tomorrow, along with happy pictures. Ok? I don't want to come across as being a whiny bitch...I promise. This post might make me look like a complete loser. Trust me, some parts, I feel badly enough about.
John and I were gone all day today. We were driving home at 10:30 p.m. when John got a call on his cell phone. It was the wife of the man who we had bought our house from. For those of you who do not know the whole story, they bought our old farmhouse, we bought their new remodeled house in town. It was almost a trade. Well, out at our old house, we had a cat named Smokey. A few months before the big move, Smokey had kittens. There were three. Whitey, Blackie, and Brownie. Blackie disappeared soon after the kittens began walking around. :( The other two sat there in the grass, looking cute as ever. We weren't sure if we wanted to put up with kittens IN our new house (every single one of our animals at our old house lived exclusively outdoors).
So, after the closing and moving, the kittens and Smokey remained out at the farmhouse. We made arrangements to take them out to John's parents farm because the new owners did not want cats out there. Well, last weekend, we took Brownie into our arms. This made the wife of the purchaser very happy. So happy, she became very concerned about Whitey and when we would take her. John and I knew we only wanted one cat, so, as soon as Whitey was captured, she would go with her mommy out to the other farm.
And at 10:30 at night, tonight, we get the call. (NOTE: If it wasn't for this, I would have been in bed two hours ago).
She has Whitey in a box out at their house. They will meet us in FIVE minutes at our new house to give us the kitten. And look at our patio that had leaked the other day during a huge downpour... yeah...
So, we get to our house, and there are lights on all over the place. The dog is crying outside, people are in our house, and I find myself so uncomfortable, so pissed off about the rudeness, that I wait in the car. John goes inside and later tells me that the white cat is running around IN OUR HOUSE. They let the cat LOOSE in OUR house. After they go, we conjure up Whitey and go out to our old house. We grab Smokey and out to John's parents house we go, at 11:00 at night.
When we get home, Brownie is super playful and is climbing all over the curtains. John and I watch a slideshow of our hundreds of pictures from today on the TV while Brownie plays and goes into the basement. We had even cleaned her litter box today, seeings how she uses it so well.
OR FUCKING NOT. Let me backtrack. Last night, John and I were brushing our teeth when we saw Brownie squating on our bathroom rug. Hmm..."Brownie? What are you doing?"
"Maybe she's just sitting funny."
"Yeah, I sure hope so..." So I bring her down to the basement, and yep, sure enough. She pee's in her litterbox. No more was thought of the matter.
So tonight, we are totally pissed off about everything else that has happened, brushing our teeth, when Brownie again is squating funny on the bathroom rug. I lift her up, and pee is dripping all over the fucking bathroom. I toss her into the bathtub because she's peeing and it's dripping down her tail and everything.
I scream out that Brownie is going out to John's parents house tomorrow. So we put her in the kennel in the garage and that is that. Of course John is like, "YOU SAID THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN!" Meaning me wanting her so badly and then the first mess up and I want her gone.
Only it's not like that. I was very tolerant to the fact that she might have accidents. In fact, she shit on the kitchen floor her 2nd night here. I didn't do a thing. I pet her and told her she could go down to the basement any time she needed to. She knew what the litter box was for. THis bathroom rug thing, wasn't an accident. It was a habit, and I'm not going to spend any more time trying to teach her otherwise. It's impossible. She knew what the litter box was for, and 15 fucking shits inside of it prooves it.
This is my house. I have worked damn hard for it, and everything it represents...and some cat isn't going to piss all over it. I am sorry if I sound like a terrible person. But who knows how long she's been doing this and each time I step out of the shower, I step in cat piss, dampness I figure is left over from the shower before. It's sick, and I'm not going to have it in my house. I apologize to all for sounding so self-centered and uncaring. :( ¶ 12:41 AM
...the day was perfect. The night was a disaster.
Do you want me to go into it right now? Ok. I will. The good part, the daytime, will be expressed in more detail tomorrow, along with happy pictures. Ok? I don't want to come across as being a whiny bitch...I promise. This post might make me look like a complete loser. Trust me, some parts, I feel badly enough about.
John and I were gone all day today. We were driving home at 10:30 p.m. when John got a call on his cell phone. It was the wife of the man who we had bought our house from. For those of you who do not know the whole story, they bought our old farmhouse, we bought their new remodeled house in town. It was almost a trade. Well, out at our old house, we had a cat named Smokey. A few months before the big move, Smokey had kittens. There were three. Whitey, Blackie, and Brownie. Blackie disappeared soon after the kittens began walking around. :( The other two sat there in the grass, looking cute as ever. We weren't sure if we wanted to put up with kittens IN our new house (every single one of our animals at our old house lived exclusively outdoors).
So, after the closing and moving, the kittens and Smokey remained out at the farmhouse. We made arrangements to take them out to John's parents farm because the new owners did not want cats out there. Well, last weekend, we took Brownie into our arms. This made the wife of the purchaser very happy. So happy, she became very concerned about Whitey and when we would take her. John and I knew we only wanted one cat, so, as soon as Whitey was captured, she would go with her mommy out to the other farm.
And at 10:30 at night, tonight, we get the call. (NOTE: If it wasn't for this, I would have been in bed two hours ago).
She has Whitey in a box out at their house. They will meet us in FIVE minutes at our new house to give us the kitten. And look at our patio that had leaked the other day during a huge downpour... yeah...
So, we get to our house, and there are lights on all over the place. The dog is crying outside, people are in our house, and I find myself so uncomfortable, so pissed off about the rudeness, that I wait in the car. John goes inside and later tells me that the white cat is running around IN OUR HOUSE. They let the cat LOOSE in OUR house. After they go, we conjure up Whitey and go out to our old house. We grab Smokey and out to John's parents house we go, at 11:00 at night.
When we get home, Brownie is super playful and is climbing all over the curtains. John and I watch a slideshow of our hundreds of pictures from today on the TV while Brownie plays and goes into the basement. We had even cleaned her litter box today, seeings how she uses it so well.
OR FUCKING NOT. Let me backtrack. Last night, John and I were brushing our teeth when we saw Brownie squating on our bathroom rug. Hmm..."Brownie? What are you doing?"
"Maybe she's just sitting funny."
"Yeah, I sure hope so..." So I bring her down to the basement, and yep, sure enough. She pee's in her litterbox. No more was thought of the matter.
So tonight, we are totally pissed off about everything else that has happened, brushing our teeth, when Brownie again is squating funny on the bathroom rug. I lift her up, and pee is dripping all over the fucking bathroom. I toss her into the bathtub because she's peeing and it's dripping down her tail and everything.
I scream out that Brownie is going out to John's parents house tomorrow. So we put her in the kennel in the garage and that is that. Of course John is like, "YOU SAID THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN!" Meaning me wanting her so badly and then the first mess up and I want her gone.
Only it's not like that. I was very tolerant to the fact that she might have accidents. In fact, she shit on the kitchen floor her 2nd night here. I didn't do a thing. I pet her and told her she could go down to the basement any time she needed to. She knew what the litter box was for. THis bathroom rug thing, wasn't an accident. It was a habit, and I'm not going to spend any more time trying to teach her otherwise. It's impossible. She knew what the litter box was for, and 15 fucking shits inside of it prooves it.
This is my house. I have worked damn hard for it, and everything it represents...and some cat isn't going to piss all over it. I am sorry if I sound like a terrible person. But who knows how long she's been doing this and each time I step out of the shower, I step in cat piss, dampness I figure is left over from the shower before. It's sick, and I'm not going to have it in my house. I apologize to all for sounding so self-centered and uncaring. :( ¶ 12:41 AM
Saturday, August 13, 2005
papa's in bed with his britches on
Today is the day John and I are going on our field trip. It looks cloudy and like it might rain, but I'm hoping it clears. Or just doesn't rain. Either one of those would be fine. John is writing an article for work, so that means pictures, and he says, we will own the pictures, so of course I can post them. We're going to a part of the state where I've never been, so I'm excited. Driving around Minnesota is a lot of fun. I don't know why, but an hour in the car seems like 15 minutes. In Michigan, for some reason, an hour in the car seemed like...an hour and a half. Maybe because in this part of the state, you can look straight down the road and see an hour's worth of destination...whereas in Michigan you're up and down and through the woods and over the lake and so forth...I don't know. I'm always like..."Minnesota's all flat!", and back in the day, when Minnesota to me was "Duluth", I always thought it was more woodsy than Michigan. Well, I'm sure the northern part is, but I'm in the south, and I just never expected it to be like this. Right now, I live in a river valley, so it's all treey and hilly, so, what makes it interesting is, go east or west for 10 miles or so, and you're in tornado country. It really does have a beauty. John gets upset with me (a little bit) when I go on and on about the flatness, but it's just nothing like I've ever seen before.
Once, my first trip to TROLL land (the Mitten, usually the only part of the state labeled "Michigan" on the map)...oh, funny story. Sorry. My ecology book had a map of the USA, right? Well, the USA was orange or something, Mexico was green, and Canada was green. Do you know what color they had the U.P. of Michigan? Green...like Canada! I was a dork and brought my homework with me on the jazz band tour that year, so I showed my little friend John (who was crushing on me hard, and I was just starting to figure it out!). I showed him, and it was luckily a huge conversation starter...we laughed for a good half hour...I even got to go into my tin can sauna story, and then another girl went into a story about how her porch caught on fire. Good times. Anyway, parts of the Mitten were the same as this part of Minnesota...flat and corn everywhere. I had no idea.
Utah is a beautiful state. They all are, I suppose. I've only seen a handful. I've seen the Rockies from the plane, and I wanted to jump out and become a mountain man.
I have to eat some breakfast before I fall over. I woke up at 4 a.m. (We were still at the movies at 12:00 am!) starving! I almost threw up. ¶ 9:57 AM
Once, my first trip to TROLL land (the Mitten, usually the only part of the state labeled "Michigan" on the map)...oh, funny story. Sorry. My ecology book had a map of the USA, right? Well, the USA was orange or something, Mexico was green, and Canada was green. Do you know what color they had the U.P. of Michigan? Green...like Canada! I was a dork and brought my homework with me on the jazz band tour that year, so I showed my little friend John (who was crushing on me hard, and I was just starting to figure it out!). I showed him, and it was luckily a huge conversation starter...we laughed for a good half hour...I even got to go into my tin can sauna story, and then another girl went into a story about how her porch caught on fire. Good times. Anyway, parts of the Mitten were the same as this part of Minnesota...flat and corn everywhere. I had no idea.
Utah is a beautiful state. They all are, I suppose. I've only seen a handful. I've seen the Rockies from the plane, and I wanted to jump out and become a mountain man.
I have to eat some breakfast before I fall over. I woke up at 4 a.m. (We were still at the movies at 12:00 am!) starving! I almost threw up. ¶ 9:57 AM
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
add some colors
After having a mostly all-white layouts, something begins to nag at me. Although I like the crispness, the lack of clutter, something still feels like it's missing...and that's color. To remedy this, I need to post MORE pictures! This weekend, I'll be able to take a lot. John and I are going on a little field trip to visit Indian petroglyphs! It's about an hour and a half away, and I've never been to this area of the state, so I'll have a bunch of new things to post and see. Thank goodness tomorrow is Thursday. This week, for as dull as it's been work-wise for me, has actually gone by really fast.
Brownie is still being a good girl! I'm so proud of her for catching on so quickly. She really is super-smart (and super-cute!)
I always connect my camera to the computer and come across other pictures I had skipped over. I have about 200 pictures on my camera, but I only choose 5-10 at a time. Here's a picture of a life saver, from out at Lake Superior during the 4th of July weekend we spent with my folks.
Next is a series of Brownie-pictures. One thing I noticed, is that it's really hard to take pictures of her. She's so dark, that, without the flash, one can barely see her, and, with the flash, her fur reflects the light, so she looks kind of scary. I'll figure it out one of these days!
Brownie playing with her pink jingle ball.
Which, makes her very sleepy.
"I'm very sleepy...I really like to look at people, though."
John now has a permanant ball of fur on his shoulder.
Goodnight, everyone. It's 11:30...way past my bed time... ¶ 11:32 PM
Brownie is still being a good girl! I'm so proud of her for catching on so quickly. She really is super-smart (and super-cute!)
I always connect my camera to the computer and come across other pictures I had skipped over. I have about 200 pictures on my camera, but I only choose 5-10 at a time. Here's a picture of a life saver, from out at Lake Superior during the 4th of July weekend we spent with my folks.
Next is a series of Brownie-pictures. One thing I noticed, is that it's really hard to take pictures of her. She's so dark, that, without the flash, one can barely see her, and, with the flash, her fur reflects the light, so she looks kind of scary. I'll figure it out one of these days!
Brownie playing with her pink jingle ball.
Which, makes her very sleepy.
"I'm very sleepy...I really like to look at people, though."
John now has a permanant ball of fur on his shoulder.
Goodnight, everyone. It's 11:30...way past my bed time... ¶ 11:32 PM
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
everybody hates me
Even though I am about to cry, I am still gonna post. I deleted some things that shouldn't have even been said. I would like to apologize to Kristen. I was not awake at all when I typed that mean post earlier this morning. I stood at work all day long trying to remember what I had written, and, once I did, I realized how it didn't make any sense at all. I even came up with a zillion rebuttles for myself. I am not one to push my beliefs into other people's faces. I just don't do that. I know what I know and believe in it and hope that others might find values that they can feel similar about. Same with those alternatives to declawing. Declawing makes the contradictions in my head pop up all over the place. You're a vegetarian, but yet you would declaw your pet. and on and on and on. The truth is that sometimes I'm contradictory like that. I know circuses are bad, and I would not go to one today, but yet I'm obsessed with P.T. Barnum. I love the circus-era of the 1800s. I even have this picture of a circus train unloading elephants, which used to hang in my old living room. And then in the next room were stickers that said: "Support Organic Farmers! I LOVE my Co-op!" I'll be the first to admit, I have a lot to learn in this world of flip-flopped values. What I do know, is that I have one of the best teachers on the planet-- my husband.
We met at an environmental college 5 years ago. I was in high school and had obsessed over the students and everything about the school and the area. It all began in high school...I picked up on some of their beliefs through bumper stickers (kill your television), t-shirts, posters in the Union, you NAME it, and I tried to be like them. But it wasn't until I met John that I became one of them. John has been into activism since he was a teen. For example, he and his best friend once made a stuffed hunter (kind of like a scarecrow), strapped it to the hood of their car, and drove around small towns. He has taught me SO MUCH. I am still learning. I don't want to act like I know everything. I am sorry if I came across that way.
I have been through so much lately. I just take everything as a personal attack. I'm really, truly sorry. That wasn't me at all. I knew I shouldn't have said a thing. I just wanted to express my hurt in words that might hurt others. I'm trying to be a smart, environmentally-aware person. As far as the Earth is concerned, well, without it, no one would be here. It's our job to take care of it the best we can.
I really am sorry. I do appreciate new ideas. I suppose I could check into some of those things and give them a try before I go and do something drastic to my kitten. Once you work really hard and stive for a dream (even if it's selling your dream house, as it was in my case) and moving into a nice, but not exactly what you want, kind of house, you come to see it as everything material that it is. I just know how hard it was to get here, in this spot. It all cost money, and I know how hard it was to get it (emotionally, especially). I know my cat is a little life, and that life should definately come before material objects, but sometimes it's easy to see it the other way...for example...circuses as fun, entertainment for children vs. animal cruelty...the cow and something so important to India..yet the way they abuse them.
And for the person who said that I should be spayed...I don't know who you are, but I just want you to know that what you wrote was possibly the meanest thing anyone could have said to me. I never wanted kids growing up, but when I met John, all I could think about was what babies meant. 1/2 of him, and 1/2 of me, combined, forever, so that our love could be represented for generations to come...I can't even express how much I'd love our babies. Oh my...it just makes me want to cry. To have a baby with him would be the best thing to EVER happen to me. You might not know this, because you're anonymous, but we've been married for nearly 4 years. I have a medical condition (I don't even know exactly what condition it is! they have yet to figure it out) that doesn't allow me to have children. I would have to go to the hospital and receive treatments. I started going last year and was just on the way to meeting with an expert at another hospital when my insurance was cancelled. So, it's just been another year of trying and crossing fingers and then realizing that it's not going to happen, again. I've seen my cousins and newlywed friends around me get pregnant, and it tears my heart apart. So, if you didn't know that, now you do. It's an extremely sensitive subject.
Over all, I'm sorry for snapping and being so immature. We can't learn unless we are taught, and I will always be open to learning. ¶ 7:13 PM
We met at an environmental college 5 years ago. I was in high school and had obsessed over the students and everything about the school and the area. It all began in high school...I picked up on some of their beliefs through bumper stickers (kill your television), t-shirts, posters in the Union, you NAME it, and I tried to be like them. But it wasn't until I met John that I became one of them. John has been into activism since he was a teen. For example, he and his best friend once made a stuffed hunter (kind of like a scarecrow), strapped it to the hood of their car, and drove around small towns. He has taught me SO MUCH. I am still learning. I don't want to act like I know everything. I am sorry if I came across that way.
I have been through so much lately. I just take everything as a personal attack. I'm really, truly sorry. That wasn't me at all. I knew I shouldn't have said a thing. I just wanted to express my hurt in words that might hurt others. I'm trying to be a smart, environmentally-aware person. As far as the Earth is concerned, well, without it, no one would be here. It's our job to take care of it the best we can.
I really am sorry. I do appreciate new ideas. I suppose I could check into some of those things and give them a try before I go and do something drastic to my kitten. Once you work really hard and stive for a dream (even if it's selling your dream house, as it was in my case) and moving into a nice, but not exactly what you want, kind of house, you come to see it as everything material that it is. I just know how hard it was to get here, in this spot. It all cost money, and I know how hard it was to get it (emotionally, especially). I know my cat is a little life, and that life should definately come before material objects, but sometimes it's easy to see it the other way...for example...circuses as fun, entertainment for children vs. animal cruelty...the cow and something so important to India..yet the way they abuse them.
And for the person who said that I should be spayed...I don't know who you are, but I just want you to know that what you wrote was possibly the meanest thing anyone could have said to me. I never wanted kids growing up, but when I met John, all I could think about was what babies meant. 1/2 of him, and 1/2 of me, combined, forever, so that our love could be represented for generations to come...I can't even express how much I'd love our babies. Oh my...it just makes me want to cry. To have a baby with him would be the best thing to EVER happen to me. You might not know this, because you're anonymous, but we've been married for nearly 4 years. I have a medical condition (I don't even know exactly what condition it is! they have yet to figure it out) that doesn't allow me to have children. I would have to go to the hospital and receive treatments. I started going last year and was just on the way to meeting with an expert at another hospital when my insurance was cancelled. So, it's just been another year of trying and crossing fingers and then realizing that it's not going to happen, again. I've seen my cousins and newlywed friends around me get pregnant, and it tears my heart apart. So, if you didn't know that, now you do. It's an extremely sensitive subject.
Over all, I'm sorry for snapping and being so immature. We can't learn unless we are taught, and I will always be open to learning. ¶ 7:13 PM
Saturday, August 06, 2005
It doesn't hurt, Part II
Today was shopping day! This afternoon, we took off and went to a zillion places. Books were bought. Groceries were purchased. Movies were rented. John and I even got ourselves some new clothes. He found a nice shirt for work (I was really suprised he picked it out! It's navy blue and has a rainbow stripe across the front. It's really cute!) I got myself some new jeans. Suprisingly, they are fitting jeans. I ended up trying on a size too big and almost convincing myself that it looked better. John told me that it looked like I had a cock. (sorry, but it's what was said!) So of course, I opted for the smaller pair. It's going to take some getting used to, but I think it will be a good thing in the long run. I also found a cute tube top. Yikes. :)
Oh, I even got my hair cut. I went to Great Clips. I think they did a not-so-good job, but at least all the dead, crispy ends are cut off. I haven't gotten my hair cut since that time a few months ago when I had it super-short, so all the layers were growing out and looking very odd. Now there are new, shorter layers. It lays better, and will definately grow out healthier.
I am very excited about my optical illusions books.
And it's movie time, even though it's very late, and my eyes are heavy. I hope I don't fall asleep during the movie! ¶ 10:39 PM
Oh, I even got my hair cut. I went to Great Clips. I think they did a not-so-good job, but at least all the dead, crispy ends are cut off. I haven't gotten my hair cut since that time a few months ago when I had it super-short, so all the layers were growing out and looking very odd. Now there are new, shorter layers. It lays better, and will definately grow out healthier.
I am very excited about my optical illusions books.
And it's movie time, even though it's very late, and my eyes are heavy. I hope I don't fall asleep during the movie! ¶ 10:39 PM
it doesn't hurt
If I hadn't called my parents, this post would probably be a lot more emotional than it's gonna be. Yesterday was a good day at work. I got to work by myself with a blender for a good 3/4 of the day. The last part was just running some things, calculating, and clean-up. I actually walked out of the lab at 5:40. That was a good thing because we were going to be meeting my husband's parents and some family members at a restraunt in the suburbs of the Cities. I needed some extra time to shower, and then of course for the drive time.
I blasted the Deaths in the car on the way home, driving by the neighboring house, seeing that the concrete man had been over there, starting the preparations for laying a concrete slab. The preparations at our house were identical (both houses have been re-done by the same man, therefore, they are getting the same improvements made to them). I got out of the car, ready for the weekend, ready to be happy and silly, and there was John standing in the doorway...
"Mellie....did you see what happened?" he asked.
I assumed he meant the concrete stuff. "What?" I looked around the ground, looking for a problem.
"I got into an accident..." he muddered.
My freak lights went on and I started to panick. Since he was standing at the door, my initial picture was a fender-bender or something. I had parked right next to the Subaru, the Subaru we've owned for only a little over two months, but I hadn't noticed anything. I turned around and looked and didn't see anything. I walked around to the driver's side, and, sure enough: the ugliest snarl? Snarl. I don't know. Dent. No, it's more like turned up plastic and snarled car parts. Snarl is the only word I can come up with, because that's what it looks like and how it makes my stomach fill up with butterflies and acid. It makes the blood boil inside of my veins. My vision focuses on verbal hurt and physical violence. Okay. It did the same thing then. I immediately yelled and cursed. "What the hell, Critter! Do you know how much we payed for this?"
Then I realized we lived in town, no. I had actually never forgotten. I swear, my neighbors probably think I'm some kind of bitch. Everytime I'm outside, I'm yelling at the dog for digging holes or at John for crashing the car.
So I finally got to come inside of the house, and I yelled and screamed at him. "I knew I shouldn't have come home."
"Probably not," my anger said.
"And you're leaving," John said. My heart sank.
"NO." I said. We yelled at each other some more. I knew I was acting like a child, but oh. I don't know. I ran in here to call my parents, to ask how a person should react in these sorts of situations. I've been married for almost 4 years now, but it's still all new to me. I don't know how to act in some situations. John is my husband, but our relationship is more like best friends, so I often freak out more than partner up and solve. I'm just like that. My parents weren't home, so I just went to our bed and cried and thought about how it was to ride in the Subaru for the first time, how hard it was to actually get approved for a loan. (I was STILL not employed at that time).
Soon, John came down to the room, and I finally let him hug me, and he told me all about how he had everything taken care of. What had happened. He thinks it was his fault. He and some other guy tried parking in a parking space at the same time, and they crashed. He was going about 10-20 miles an hour. If the car hadn't been made of plastic, nothing would have happened. I just couldn't hear these things. But, anyway, it's going to the autobody shop on Monday, and should be all fixed by Thursday at the latest. John swears it will look better than new. I just can't look at it.
I remember this one time, my mom and I had been walking down the road. I was really, really, REALLY little, and she had stepped on a fruit or something on the ground. It squashed all over the road, and I started to cry because my mom had killed whatever it was and made it look ugly. That's kind of how it feels to look at the car.
I keep telling myself, at least it's not the Cavelier (the car my parents gave to us). But I still wish it hadn't been any car at all.
The Subaru about a day or two after we bought it.
ps: I talked to my mom and dad this morning, and when John gets home, he is getting a big hug. I am so mean to him. I really am. I can cry over dented cars and squished fruit, but yet when it comes to the man I love the most, I crush him every time. ¶ 9:31 AM
I blasted the Deaths in the car on the way home, driving by the neighboring house, seeing that the concrete man had been over there, starting the preparations for laying a concrete slab. The preparations at our house were identical (both houses have been re-done by the same man, therefore, they are getting the same improvements made to them). I got out of the car, ready for the weekend, ready to be happy and silly, and there was John standing in the doorway...
"Mellie....did you see what happened?" he asked.
I assumed he meant the concrete stuff. "What?" I looked around the ground, looking for a problem.
"I got into an accident..." he muddered.
My freak lights went on and I started to panick. Since he was standing at the door, my initial picture was a fender-bender or something. I had parked right next to the Subaru, the Subaru we've owned for only a little over two months, but I hadn't noticed anything. I turned around and looked and didn't see anything. I walked around to the driver's side, and, sure enough: the ugliest snarl? Snarl. I don't know. Dent. No, it's more like turned up plastic and snarled car parts. Snarl is the only word I can come up with, because that's what it looks like and how it makes my stomach fill up with butterflies and acid. It makes the blood boil inside of my veins. My vision focuses on verbal hurt and physical violence. Okay. It did the same thing then. I immediately yelled and cursed. "What the hell, Critter! Do you know how much we payed for this?"
Then I realized we lived in town, no. I had actually never forgotten. I swear, my neighbors probably think I'm some kind of bitch. Everytime I'm outside, I'm yelling at the dog for digging holes or at John for crashing the car.
So I finally got to come inside of the house, and I yelled and screamed at him. "I knew I shouldn't have come home."
"Probably not," my anger said.
"And you're leaving," John said. My heart sank.
"NO." I said. We yelled at each other some more. I knew I was acting like a child, but oh. I don't know. I ran in here to call my parents, to ask how a person should react in these sorts of situations. I've been married for almost 4 years now, but it's still all new to me. I don't know how to act in some situations. John is my husband, but our relationship is more like best friends, so I often freak out more than partner up and solve. I'm just like that. My parents weren't home, so I just went to our bed and cried and thought about how it was to ride in the Subaru for the first time, how hard it was to actually get approved for a loan. (I was STILL not employed at that time).
Soon, John came down to the room, and I finally let him hug me, and he told me all about how he had everything taken care of. What had happened. He thinks it was his fault. He and some other guy tried parking in a parking space at the same time, and they crashed. He was going about 10-20 miles an hour. If the car hadn't been made of plastic, nothing would have happened. I just couldn't hear these things. But, anyway, it's going to the autobody shop on Monday, and should be all fixed by Thursday at the latest. John swears it will look better than new. I just can't look at it.
I remember this one time, my mom and I had been walking down the road. I was really, really, REALLY little, and she had stepped on a fruit or something on the ground. It squashed all over the road, and I started to cry because my mom had killed whatever it was and made it look ugly. That's kind of how it feels to look at the car.
I keep telling myself, at least it's not the Cavelier (the car my parents gave to us). But I still wish it hadn't been any car at all.
The Subaru about a day or two after we bought it.
ps: I talked to my mom and dad this morning, and when John gets home, he is getting a big hug. I am so mean to him. I really am. I can cry over dented cars and squished fruit, but yet when it comes to the man I love the most, I crush him every time. ¶ 9:31 AM
Friday, August 05, 2005
lazy?
I always feel terrible when I come home from work and crash on the couch by the tv until bedtime, usually even thru dinner. While I'm working, I always think about what a waste the previous night was by doing this, and then when I get home, it's the same old thing again. I realized this morning, that it isn't my fault at all. I'm just worn out, tired. At my job, usually one test fills the entire 8+ hours, so, it really flows together quite nicely. It's easy to come home and not realize that 9 hours were just spent away, on my feet the entire time.
It doesn't help that I've had PMS for about a month now. I am so sick and tired of it! I'm worn out and tired and crabby and achy, not to mention feeling fatter than fat, and it's controlling me. Once I get my insurance card, I am going right back to that doctor and saying "NO MESSING AROUND with charts; I want to be fixed this minute so I don't have to go through this every other month or three." I know this plays a huge part in my "crashing on the couch" as well.
I guess where I'm going is I know that I'm not lazy because I just woke up at 7:40, and do you know what I did? One of the things I wanted to do in the evening. If I can do this with pop-up hair and puffed-up eyes, vision blury even with the aid of glasses, then the direction points to this: work is the culprit behind my laziness, not me, and I shouldn't feel bad. I vacuumed the bathroom floor, took out all of the garbages, rearanged the linen shelves, and now, as I type, the toilet bowl cleaner is "sitting" for 5-10 minutes, right before I "swab with brush."
And then it will only be 8:20 or so; I can hop into the shower (10 minutes, 8:35, say), play some of my new Devil's Rejects soundtrack, eat breakfast, and feel somewhat accomplished before I head out the door and thank the lord it's Friday. ¶ 8:13 AM
It doesn't help that I've had PMS for about a month now. I am so sick and tired of it! I'm worn out and tired and crabby and achy, not to mention feeling fatter than fat, and it's controlling me. Once I get my insurance card, I am going right back to that doctor and saying "NO MESSING AROUND with charts; I want to be fixed this minute so I don't have to go through this every other month or three." I know this plays a huge part in my "crashing on the couch" as well.
I guess where I'm going is I know that I'm not lazy because I just woke up at 7:40, and do you know what I did? One of the things I wanted to do in the evening. If I can do this with pop-up hair and puffed-up eyes, vision blury even with the aid of glasses, then the direction points to this: work is the culprit behind my laziness, not me, and I shouldn't feel bad. I vacuumed the bathroom floor, took out all of the garbages, rearanged the linen shelves, and now, as I type, the toilet bowl cleaner is "sitting" for 5-10 minutes, right before I "swab with brush."
And then it will only be 8:20 or so; I can hop into the shower (10 minutes, 8:35, say), play some of my new Devil's Rejects soundtrack, eat breakfast, and feel somewhat accomplished before I head out the door and thank the lord it's Friday. ¶ 8:13 AM
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Survey
stolen from Evil D!
Last Cigarette: I have never had a cigarette in my life. To be fair, about a year ago, I had a small puff or two of a cigar. It was actually not bad, and I wanted more as John ran it under the faucet to burn it out.
Last Alcoholic Drink: Wine. John and I were visiting the vineyard, and he had a glass of their specialty wine. I helped myself to a few sips. I am not much of a drinker.
Last Good Cry: Last night when I got home from work. I cried into a pillow to help myself feel better.
Last Movie Seen in Theaters: Devil's Rejects. It was amazing, and I would see it a million more times.
Last Movie Rented: John and I rented a film "the Jacket," which we will be viewing later on tonight, while eating spagetti. MMM!
Last Cuss Word Uttered: I like Evil D.'s theory on this one! However, I think my last cuss word was probably...hell or shit or something. I don't recall. I know I said "Fuck" a lot at work yesterday (quietly to myself) and when I quoted Devil's Rejects with "Tootie Fuckin' Fruitie." I swear a lot more than I ever did before.
Last Beverage Drank: Water. I keep my Nalgene in the fridge of the break room, and, after I punched out, I raced to the icebox and drank, drank, drank. It is so hot outside.
Last Food Consumed: Well, the last meal I had was: a mustard/cheese sandwich, blueberries, carrot chips, and Ritz Crackers. Item-wise, it was the Ritz crackers.
Last Crush: John.
Last Time Showered: 6:25, after work to get carmel and sweat off of self.
Last Phone Call: Hmmmm...this is tough. I might have to say Sunday afternoon, when I called my mom.
Last TV Show Watched: The Simpsons in on now, but I'm not watching. Last night, I fell asleep during Family Guy, so that would have to be the winner, fair and square.
Last Shoes Worn: An old, old pair of Nike sandles. I think I got them when I was 16.
Last CD Bought: We bought three all together: Rosie Thomas, M. Ward, and Ida.
Last Annoyance: Work, I guess.
Last Disappointment: Having to do something at work that took more time than expected, so I couldn't do the thing I had planned on doing.
Last Thing Written: Stuff at work.
Last Words Spoken: "ok," to John, but I forgot what it was even about, and it only happened a minute ago. I am so brain dead, it's not even funny.
Last Sleep: My last sleep was from 9:20pm - 7:20am.
Last IM: Julie! and I got to IM this weekend!
Last Weird Encounter: I guess it would have to be this morning when we were talking about someone's last name (that we did not know), and then two seconds later, someone called on the phone and asked what the person's last name was.
Last Ice Cream Eaten: Those vanilla sundae chocolate-lined cones from the Schwan's Man.
Last Time in Love: NOW now now now!
Last Time Hugged: little snuggle-hugs when I got home from work.
Last Chair Sat In: This one in the computer room. It's brown and wooden.
Last Shirt Worn: White T-shirt with red lettering.
Last Webpage Visited: blogger
Last Thing Lost: I "lost" my keys yesterday; they were in my bag, but I never put them there, so it was the last place I looked.
Last Regret: Dinner's ready, but instead I'm finishing this survey! ¶ 6:57 PM
Last Cigarette: I have never had a cigarette in my life. To be fair, about a year ago, I had a small puff or two of a cigar. It was actually not bad, and I wanted more as John ran it under the faucet to burn it out.
Last Alcoholic Drink: Wine. John and I were visiting the vineyard, and he had a glass of their specialty wine. I helped myself to a few sips. I am not much of a drinker.
Last Good Cry: Last night when I got home from work. I cried into a pillow to help myself feel better.
Last Movie Seen in Theaters: Devil's Rejects. It was amazing, and I would see it a million more times.
Last Movie Rented: John and I rented a film "the Jacket," which we will be viewing later on tonight, while eating spagetti. MMM!
Last Cuss Word Uttered: I like Evil D.'s theory on this one! However, I think my last cuss word was probably...hell or shit or something. I don't recall. I know I said "Fuck" a lot at work yesterday (quietly to myself) and when I quoted Devil's Rejects with "Tootie Fuckin' Fruitie." I swear a lot more than I ever did before.
Last Beverage Drank: Water. I keep my Nalgene in the fridge of the break room, and, after I punched out, I raced to the icebox and drank, drank, drank. It is so hot outside.
Last Food Consumed: Well, the last meal I had was: a mustard/cheese sandwich, blueberries, carrot chips, and Ritz Crackers. Item-wise, it was the Ritz crackers.
Last Crush: John.
Last Time Showered: 6:25, after work to get carmel and sweat off of self.
Last Phone Call: Hmmmm...this is tough. I might have to say Sunday afternoon, when I called my mom.
Last TV Show Watched: The Simpsons in on now, but I'm not watching. Last night, I fell asleep during Family Guy, so that would have to be the winner, fair and square.
Last Shoes Worn: An old, old pair of Nike sandles. I think I got them when I was 16.
Last CD Bought: We bought three all together: Rosie Thomas, M. Ward, and Ida.
Last Annoyance: Work, I guess.
Last Disappointment: Having to do something at work that took more time than expected, so I couldn't do the thing I had planned on doing.
Last Thing Written: Stuff at work.
Last Words Spoken: "ok," to John, but I forgot what it was even about, and it only happened a minute ago. I am so brain dead, it's not even funny.
Last Sleep: My last sleep was from 9:20pm - 7:20am.
Last IM: Julie! and I got to IM this weekend!
Last Weird Encounter: I guess it would have to be this morning when we were talking about someone's last name (that we did not know), and then two seconds later, someone called on the phone and asked what the person's last name was.
Last Ice Cream Eaten: Those vanilla sundae chocolate-lined cones from the Schwan's Man.
Last Time in Love: NOW now now now!
Last Time Hugged: little snuggle-hugs when I got home from work.
Last Chair Sat In: This one in the computer room. It's brown and wooden.
Last Shirt Worn: White T-shirt with red lettering.
Last Webpage Visited: blogger
Last Thing Lost: I "lost" my keys yesterday; they were in my bag, but I never put them there, so it was the last place I looked.
Last Regret: Dinner's ready, but instead I'm finishing this survey! ¶ 6:57 PM
9:27-6:30 isn't fun
I don't want to ruin this diary with sad entries, but it's all part of life, I suppose. I especially don't want to talk about work, because it isn't interesting in the least bit. But I do want to talk about what's on my mind, and both of these things fall into that category.
Last week was a great week at work. I got to learn new tests in a different part of the lab. However, yesterday, the girl I used to work with, wasn't at work, so they asked me to do the tests over in that corner. I was pleased, at first, because most of the racks had been weighed up, so all I had to do was wait for them to do their thing and then go go GO the last part of the day. Was that ever an understatement. Everything all caught up to one another at the same time, so I was going every which way, all within 3 minute, 30 second time periods, for two hours or so. I ended up working past my 5:30 end-of-the-day until 6:30, and not getting home until close to 7. I fell asleep at 9:30. Yeah. So it felt like I was home for 2 hours all day. When I first got home, I finally could voice my opinions about all this, so of course I yelled at John and made him sad. He walked out of the room; I cried into a pillow.
The good things about last night:
1. Making up with John
2. Taking a hot shower to de-stress
3. Eating Mac and Cheese
4. Sleeping?
I just wish I was in school again, or at least had the same hours. 8-3:30. Now that would be nice. Get home at 3:30 and watch TV or lay on the floor listening to music. I don't even get to do that anymore. Our stereo isn't even hooked up because there isn't room for it unless we get an entertainment center or something.
What's worse is, yesterday when I first go to work, a very strange woman in the lab started blaming me for all these things and yelling and treating me like an uncompetant fool, "See this here? This is a no-no" (I supposedly put sterile plastic pipets in a beaker that was only supposed to be used for certain tests). Sorry, I did put them there, but as refills. Someone else had initially set it there. GOD. And today I'll probably have to work with her since that other person will be back. OOOh my...I just want to stay home or something. Just for today.
I am going to treat myself this morning. Last week, I got this cinnamon smell wafted over from somewhere in the lab, and I immediatly wanted cinnamon rolls. Warm cinnamon rolls with sweet, melted icing. So...I know they aren't the same as home made, but I had John pick up some Dough Boy rolls (the kind in the can). JUST FOR all this CRAP at work, I'm baking them this morning!
Please oh please let today be a better day. ¶ 7:40 AM
Last week was a great week at work. I got to learn new tests in a different part of the lab. However, yesterday, the girl I used to work with, wasn't at work, so they asked me to do the tests over in that corner. I was pleased, at first, because most of the racks had been weighed up, so all I had to do was wait for them to do their thing and then go go GO the last part of the day. Was that ever an understatement. Everything all caught up to one another at the same time, so I was going every which way, all within 3 minute, 30 second time periods, for two hours or so. I ended up working past my 5:30 end-of-the-day until 6:30, and not getting home until close to 7. I fell asleep at 9:30. Yeah. So it felt like I was home for 2 hours all day. When I first got home, I finally could voice my opinions about all this, so of course I yelled at John and made him sad. He walked out of the room; I cried into a pillow.
The good things about last night:
1. Making up with John
2. Taking a hot shower to de-stress
3. Eating Mac and Cheese
4. Sleeping?
I just wish I was in school again, or at least had the same hours. 8-3:30. Now that would be nice. Get home at 3:30 and watch TV or lay on the floor listening to music. I don't even get to do that anymore. Our stereo isn't even hooked up because there isn't room for it unless we get an entertainment center or something.
What's worse is, yesterday when I first go to work, a very strange woman in the lab started blaming me for all these things and yelling and treating me like an uncompetant fool, "See this here? This is a no-no" (I supposedly put sterile plastic pipets in a beaker that was only supposed to be used for certain tests). Sorry, I did put them there, but as refills. Someone else had initially set it there. GOD. And today I'll probably have to work with her since that other person will be back. OOOh my...I just want to stay home or something. Just for today.
I am going to treat myself this morning. Last week, I got this cinnamon smell wafted over from somewhere in the lab, and I immediatly wanted cinnamon rolls. Warm cinnamon rolls with sweet, melted icing. So...I know they aren't the same as home made, but I had John pick up some Dough Boy rolls (the kind in the can). JUST FOR all this CRAP at work, I'm baking them this morning!
Please oh please let today be a better day. ¶ 7:40 AM
